It’s been ages I’ve never updated my blog.
To be fair…I am horribly so busy these days! I got no ‘real’ life…and sometimes, I was crying by myself without any reason.
Even I got a worst situation than the “crying moment”….it was once I wanted to cry but I got no more energy to do it.
Well, what I’m trying to write here is just…..human emotion…is just a kind of self control.
Once I’m feeling so emotional here (in the UK), I could shop lots (fast) foods and finish them in a blink of an eye (no wonder, I gain weight again these days! and…it means..I am less healthy, being less agile and more fragile to diseases!!! *warning alarm is ON!!). In addition to this, my spendings was really uncontrolled.
I could also just stay in my room for doing nothing but keep feel stressful with daily routines and ruining my worship consistency time. Also, once I got that scary emotion, my room was very messy! These are so shame to tell, indeed! However, I would just like to say that…. please do not be like me.
Once lots people feel envy with me (I mean, they envy with lots “lucky” opportunities I got – such as studentship, teaching job in the university, being a subwarden in my flat, being an active voluntary committee member in OR group in East Midlands, being the people’s choice for 3 Minute Thesis competition, and so on), I did not feel grateful for that! Instead, I was feeling stressful and tired of being working all day long..pursuing targets and targets….having no social life (since I’m getting much busier these days)…feeling homesick..missing family..missing my car (I have to go everywhere on foot here. I can walk up to 8-10km a day now!).. and so on and so forth. The stress matter is just.. a terrific self control.
Living in overseas, is not as beautiful as what most Indonesian people thought. We have to be very strong and persistent, particularly once we are in a place where is thousand miles away from our family, the culture is totally different (but Thank God, I love being different in this country), the weather is always changing (I miss having lots sun light! You know, now I feel incredibly happy every time the sun is shining!!) and the we got lots deadlines to complete with a very limited time. Once I got sick..oh..seeing a doctor here is not as easy as in Indonesia (unless I can pay more money). Also, having prescription from the doctor is not easy! In other words, we have to take care ourselves by doing everything by ourselves as well! Moreover, once we got sick and have less energy, the deadlines are still coming and coming. There is no excuse for getting sick here! So….that made “my faith shifted”, by being stressful, start complaining for every little thing and feeling tired easily. Again, it was so shame!
Thank God…God always gives his hand to me…….. sometimes, a little and short prayer helps reminding me to a simple suggestion: just being grateful …… And it helps me! When I feel “grateful” for any condition that I have now. Now I realise that God do love me, I’m feeling so lucky with all the situations I have now! Moreover, I start gaining my self control back…and…I start feeling happier..which increases gradually as my grateful feeling is growing.
To sum up, just..enjoy our life as is….since life is too short for having a stress.
I know this writing might be not really useful for you, but at least, I hope it can help us to remember our God in every little step in our life. That’s it.
As a moslem, I am just happy to say “bismillah” to start every little thing I do…………
Keep smiling, friends 🙂 !!